Well it is Super Bowl Sunday. Even if you aren't a Seahawks or Patriots fan, most likely you are still ordering pizza, cooking wings, queso, guacamole, etc and settling in on your couch in front of your big screen TV. It is the biggest game of the year (to most), but it also notes the depressing end to football season. Now what am I going to watch until September? Basketball, schmasketball... hmph. So you may be asking what we are doing tonight for Superbowl??
Well, I just showered and am about to get ready to go.... to work. NOOOOO!
I work nights at my new job (hopefully not for too long) and it is a killer to the soul. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I realize that nursing is a 24/7 job, but working nights is hard. Strangely enough, its not hard for me to stay up all night and I usually don't get too tired while I am there. What is hard for me is what it does to my emotions. I wake up in the middle of the afternoon and immediately upon waking I think, "crud, I have to work tonight." I shower, get ready, eat dinner, and then head out into the dark. As I go through the motions of getting ready there is a heavy weight on my shoulders. It drives me nuts and I can't seem to shake it. One would think I would just get over it already. I know I have to work, so just deal with it and move on. But, alas, Kelly's emotional compass swings like its on a boat in a category 5 hurricane. I've always been that way, I've accepted it. Some nights I leave the house completely fine, some nights I cry when I hug Jimmy goodbye. What is that??!??
I'm not going to sit here and spew insincere thoughts about how nursing is a calling and a blessing so I'm always skipping to work ready to bless the world with my skills. That's not real life. Nursing is hard, patients get really sick, mistakes are made, a mere 12 hours can be extremely stressful, and some nights I just want to stay home with Jimmy and Gus. That's my truth. I love being a nurse and there is nothing better than when you make a connection with a patient and their family, and you know in some small way you have helped. I'll hold onto that thought tonight as I make my way out into the cold, dark night.
I hope you all have a great and safe Super Bowl night. Eat some pizza for me and GO HAWKS!
Until next time,