Okay, in part one of this story I told you all a little bit about my struggles these past years. My issues with weight, food, fertility (or lack thereof). I ended my last post talking about the Whole30 and what exactly that entails.
My post basically gave reasons as to why I decided to do something so drastic like cutting out all of God’s most delicious flavors from my life. It was definitely not an easy decision, but I kept telling myself “thirty days, come on Kelly, give yourself thirty days to see if you feel better.” I was so, so tired of feeling lousy. Of getting anxiety every time Jimmy and I wanted to go out somewhere because I wasn’t sure what to wear, or I didn’t want anyone to see how plump I had gotten. They say confidence is the sexiest thing a person can wear. If that is the case, I was far from sexy. Like Timbuktu far from sexy. So, I figured why not? How bad can this be (I knew it would be bad, I’m just trying to make you think I am a badass who didn’t go into this kicking and screaming)? I am currently on day 16 (woot). Here is a glimpse into how the first sixteen days have gone.*
*Side note- for anyone who hasn’t read Part 1 of this blog series and is not sure what the Whole30 is, it is basically clean eating. Fruits, vegetables, protein. No sugar, grains, dairy, legumes, alcohol, for 30 days. It is not branded as a diet, but more as a body reset. From the Whole30 website: Cut out all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing. Push the “reset” button with your metabolism, systemic inflammation, and the downstream effects of the food choices you’ve been making. Learn once and for all how the foods you’ve been eating are actually affecting your day to day life, and your long term health.
Days 1-4: What in the actual F@$k have I gotten myself into?
I call this the “idiot” stage for two reasons. Number one: what kind of idiot knowingly enters into a personal agreement with herself to stop eating grains, dairy, sugar, and alcohol? Oh brain! Why have you forsaken me? Number two: what kind of idiot treats her body so badly for so long that she feels this horrible detoxing? The headaches, oh the headaches! It felt like the Lord of the Dance was tap, tap, tapping away on my skull for four full days. Luckily, number two won out here. I was kind of alarmed by how bad I felt. Strangely enough, this gave me the motivation to keep going. My body was showing me how much it needed to detox. As much as I wanted to say screw it and erase that headache with a warm, fluffy loaf of bread dripping with butter, I knew I couldn’t (oh Lord, I just imagined that bread…sigh). These days were definitely hard. I was craving all bad foods. Chips, chocolate, you name it. Day four was especially torture because it was the beginning of the NFL playoffs. Jimmy and I are big football people, and my team had made it (I must note here that Jimmy’s team, The Dallas Cowboys, were at home sitting on the couch…suckers)! I found myself at a bar, eating my bun-less, cheese-less burger with a side of fruit and drinking an un-sweet iced tea. I looked around at all of the people eating wings and drinking beer and I wanted to go on a murder spree. It didn’t help that my team got their asses whooped in a bad way (I guess I should leave the Cowboys smack talk at the door). I couldn’t even have a beer to drown my five-turnover-sorrows in. I went to bed that night dreaming of French fries and hoping for better days to come on this journey.
Days 5-7: I miss wine.
I’m not sure what this says about me or my mental stability, but I have really, really missed alcohol on this journey. Not like in a bender sort of way. Geez people, I don’t have a problem. But in a, “whew, what a day…a glass of wine would be nice” sort of way. I don’t have much good to say about these days. I was exhausted constantly, somewhat irritable, and I am sorry Whole30, but black coffee is NOT awesome. That being said, there were some good aspects. My two friends from work, Christine and Lindsay are on this journey with me. Around this time we decided to cook each other lunch when we worked together. This was and is lifesaving. We all experimented with new recipes and ideas and it keeps things from getting too mundane (I’m looking at you zoodles… delicious). It was during these days that I reminded myself that I do not really enjoy salads. It was time to start experimenting in the kitchen. That has been both fun and disgusting. Gotta keep trying though!
Days 8-11: SO many thoughts. Why do I feel bloated? Girls night out=hard. I’m NOT giving up.
Well, I made it through a week. On to day eight, hurray! Except day eight and nine were not good. Why did I feel so bloated and gross? I haven’t been eating ANYTHING. Sorry, I’m calm. This is where I tell any of you wanting to try this to follow the Whole30 Instagram account. It gives you information and insight into whatever day you are on. It also makes me laugh. On day ten, one of my work friends that moved away came into town to visit (Hey Jess :) ). Whew, that was incredibly hard. Girls’ night out at a Mexican restaurant has probably been the biggest challenge yet. I never broke and I was extremely proud of myself for that. But I probably wasn’t much fun though (sorry Jess :( ). I know myself and I knew if I slipped I probably wouldn’t start back over. I probably would have given up. So there I was, iced tea again, asking the waiter to not cook my fajita chicken in butter or soy oil. I was “that” girl. He was really nice about it, which I appreciated. That night really showed me that I could do this. I conquered through pre-dinner drinks at Cru and stayed strong through dinner at Mi Cocina. I did call it a night after that because hey, a girl can only take so much temptation.
Days 12-14: My scrub top is looser!!!! And where did my GI issues go?
These days I finally started to feel like I was making progress. That might not be too encouraging to some of you. It took you twelve days of denying yourself the spoils of the earth to feel better? Yes, it did. Womp, womp. BUT, I am feeling better, so who cares how long it took (twelve days isn’t even that long, it just feels long). It was around this time that I realized I wasn’t running to the bathroom after I ate. I wasn’t going six times a day anymore. I was…regular? Gross, I know, but you have no idea what that means for me. Eating this way works. It really does change your life. It was here that I then slipped into a deep, dark hole of depression when it dawned on me that my GI issues were in fact food related. That means I will have to continue to eat this selectively (not you wine, you’re coming back). I’ve already started thinking of a plan to reintroduce food groups into my life so I can definitely narrow down the trigger of my problems. I know that a person can’t eat this strict forever, but I am actually excited about continuing this past day thirty. There is something to this clean eating. Oh, also during one of these days, I put on a previously back-fat hugging scrub top and it felt loose! Winning! Soldiering on…
Day 15: Half way there.
Day fifteen was yesterday. A couple of people at work congratulated me for making it half way. I felt proud. I also had this voice telling me that I still had the exact amount of days left as that I just did. That voice can shut the hell up, because I KNOW. I also administered my first Bone Marrow Transplant to a patient yesterday and everything went great. Hollaaa, city of squalaaa. It’s the little things.
Day 16: Today.
Today, I am now feeling like I am on the road to success. I am also pretty sick of eggs. I still get the occasional craving, I don’t know if that will go away. I can honestly say that I am glad I am doing this. I am glad I decided to take control of my life. Yes, this is hard. Of course it is. Food is delicious. I am not writing this to convince anyone to take this journey with me. I will support you along the way if you do, though! All I know is that I am seeing results, finally. And that, my friends, feels pretty damn great.
Is anyone else doing the Whole30 or thinking about it? Let me know if you have questions!
Until next time,
I can't believe I am doing this but...My face before Whole30 and on Day 16.