For Christmas this year, my mom got Kasey (my sis) and I a book called the 52 Lists Project by Moorea Seal.
The journal is set up by seasons, with a personal list to complete each week. In Moorea’s introduction, she discusses the importance of making lists. How they can be used as a vehicle for self- discovery, and exploration.
I started with list one on January 1st, and this project of journaling is already opening my eyes to the type of woman I strive to be. Journaling has always been a task I long to do, but never seem to have the persistence or follow through to stick with it. I would strive to journal every day, but inevitably something would come up. I’d be too tired, too annoyed, too busy. I’d take a day off, which would lead to two, then a week and before I knew it, I had a study filled with an array of ¼ filled journals.
They sat on my shelves, full of promise, mocking me with their empty pages. And yet again, I’d feel like a failure.
I think I might be a tad harsh on myself, but you get the point.
So, imagine my extreme delight when I unwrapped this lovely journal to find the task was a weekly one. I can do that!
For one month, I’ve stuck to my plan (woot!).
Since I've enjoyed this process, I thought I’d share some of the journal entries with you all. This year, the year I turn 30, will be 12 months of striving for more. Striving to better myself. Striving to be present. And I think Moorea’s journal will help the process.
Last week’s journal task was this:
List the soundtrack of your life right now.
We all know music is life, so I found this particular week exciting. Here’s what I came up with.
Rainbow by Kesha
You all know from this post and this one my extreme love for the new Kesha. Besides possessing an astonishing voice, Kesha is unapologetic in telling the world of her pain and regrowth. This song is the perfect anthem about rising from the dark and rediscovering the colors of the world. As someone who has struggled with succumbing to blackness, I too am relearning how to daydream. Life is short.
Put those colors on girl, come and paint the world with me tonight.
P.S. Did you see her Grammy performance? Dayum.
Clown by Emeli Sande
Goodness, if you haven’t listened to the powerhouse that is Emeli, you’re missing out. I believe all artists have a reason for writing the songs they do. And as listeners, we might recognize their story, or we might hear the words and make them our own. Either way, this song reminds me to hold onto my inner strength. The art I create is special. I am special.
Delicate by Taylor Swift
You all know I’m a Swifty. Like hardcore. I included this song for a few reasons. One, it’s a favorite of mine from her new album. Two, her lyrics are incredibly honest, and wouldn’t it be great if we all just said what we were thinking now and then? Three, it’s a sexy song, and when I listen to it, I feel sexy. What’s better than that?
“Yeah, I want youuuu.” I’m looking at you Jimmy.
The Sun is Rising by Britt Nicole
Gah, I love this song. It’s an anthem to all to just hold on. If your heart is broken, if the future you hoped for is gone, if you have no idea how to drag yourself out of the rubble, just hold on. The sun will rise, the clouds will clear.
Freeze Frame Time by Brandon Rhyder
I’ve loved this song since sophomore year of college when Brandon Rhyder came through Waco and us gals threw on our cowgirl boots and made a night of it. I remember listening to these lyrics and thinking “YES!” I’m sure at the time I was equating the words to that moment, that night. But as an adult, it resonates even deeper. Some days are hard. Some days we cry. We’ve got to hold onto the moments that make our hearts race. That bring about tears of laughter and cheek cracking smiles.
Learn Me Right by Mumford & Sons ft. Birdy (from the Disney movie, Brave)
I’ve learned over the years I love folk music, and this song sends my feet dancing. It’s a song about freedom. It’s about being who you are. Run and scream. Heal your scars. Plus, it’s attached to (in my opinion) one of the most underrated Disney movies. Seriously, go watch Brave.
I Am by Nichole Nordeman
I first heard this song in my teens. It’s about God always being there when you call out to him. I’ve struggled with my faith my entire adult life. I grew up in church, and then one day I stopped going. I was angry, lost trust, thought it was all a crock. I don’t know what you believe in. God, Allah, Buddha, Earth's driving energy. But, I think it’s important to believe in something. Something or someone you can call out to who is always there offering you support. This song has been, and I think always will be, a favorite of mine. It settles my restless heart. It offers me comfort.
Best Fake Smile by James Bay
This song is about a woman who’s had enough. She’s tired of going through the motions, pasting on her fake smile every day. It’s about her putting her foot down. It’s an anthem for demanding more. Like James says, if you don’t need it, get up and leave it on the floor. Hells yeah.
Barbies by P!nk
I love P!nk so damn much. Talk about a badass woman. And I love this song. It’s about not realizing life can sometimes be hard. It can kick you in the ass. It’s about admitting sometimes all you want is to go back to your childhood. When the only thing that mattered was playing Barbies in your room. Going through my dad’s sickness and hospitalizations, the house flood, Gus’ surgery, all made me wish on numerous occasions I could escape back to my childhood. I think it’s okay to wish for an escape. To wish for the beauty of childhood.
Fix You by Coldplay (Glee cover)
Please come at me for this Glee cover, haha! Believe it or not, Glee was the first time I heard this song, and I’ve been in love with it ever since. It’s a song about finding your way home. About being lost but having someone willing to help. Willing to fix your broken heart. I’m so damn lucky to have loving friends and family there to stitch me back together. Or to just listen to my pain. If you don’t have a person, I can be her. I can help. Reach out.
There you have it. The anthem for my life as of this week. I’m very aware these songs could change with the passing days, the swinging seasons. And I think that’s okay. It will be interesting to look back on this list in six months and see where I’m at.
What would you say the soundtrack of your life is right now? If you looked at the songs, would they make you happy or sad? Would they implore you to make changes?
Let me know!
Until next time,
Here's Moorea Seal's book if you're interested!