Happy Monday, friends!
How is everyone feeling on this first Monday in January?
I’m not going to lie this morning was a struggle for me. I’ve been dealing with bronchitis for about a month now. I’ve been back to the doctor multiple times, and I could deal if things were getting better. If this wretched cough was getting better, but it’s not. I fear its actually getting worse. I coughed until 3am last night at which time my body must have shut down from exhaustion because I finally fell asleep.
Probably don’t feel too bad for me, though. On Saturday night we went to our good friend’s wedding. Paige and Dereck, fabulous party! It was gorgeous, she was gorgeous, the whole night was… gorgeous (I’m sorry the copious amounts of Mucinex DM, DayQuil, and cough drops in my system are making me a crappy writer). But staying out until 1am and partaking in multiple libations probably didn’t do me any favors.
Oh well. What’s done is done. I figure this illness will either get better or take me down for good and to be honest, I wish it would get on with making up its mind. I’m tired.
^^This seems an accurate representation.^^
How were everyone’s holidays?
Mine were pretty great (aside from the coughing)! We spent time with both our families, and I attempted to not slip into the post-holiday blues where another year arrived, and you’re left wondering who you are.
I’m not really one for resolutions. I used to be. I actually like the idea of them, although I do believe you can resolve to do anything you damn well please anytime of the year. April 5th, you want to take up goat yoga? You do you girl!
The New Year does tend to freak me out, though. Yeah, freak out is the correct term. I’m not spastic or anything, but the past few years I have taken a survey of my life, and I’m usually left thinking, “Huh. Well, okay. Shit.” And as I tend to be a glass half empty type ‘o gal, I tend to focus on what’s lacking instead of what’s going well.
But I’m trying to be different this year, month, day. I’m trying to focus on slight movements instead of monumental shifts.
Like… in my writing career.
Was I hoping for a book publishing deal in 2018? Abso-frigging-lutely. Did I get it? No. But, did I write a second book that I believe is stronger than the first and that I love whole-heartedly? I sure did! And I’m crossing my fingers, toes, eyes that this is the baby that gets me there. And while there were disappointments with my first book, I actually met a writing goal of mine I set last year. My short story, “The Mailman,” was published by Junto Magazine! You can check it out here if you want to read it, or here if you’d like to buy a hard copy. AND, I’m working on a new project that feels personal and hard, but I’ve got those whispers of excitement curling around my shoulders. I can’t wait for it to take form and become a complete story.
Like…having a baby.
Again, was I hoping for a pregnancy in 2018? Yes. Were the two failed IUI’s upsetting (seems too soft a word)? Yup. But onward we go. Onto IUI #3 (currently starting) and if that doesn’t work, onto IVF. It’s scary. Frustrating. Some days I want to scream. Infertility is a bitch. But shit, guys, what can you do?? This is the road I’m on, so I better buckle up!
Like…with this blog.
You might have noticed I took some time away from blogging. I won’t lie, I have been struggling! There are SO MANY successful blogs out there, and I got intimidated by each and every one. I had to step back and realize I am not being true to myself. Let’s face it, I’m never going to be a fashionista. One, because I don’t have the money for it. And two, because I literally could care less. But that’s why there are so many beautiful women out there with fashion blogs. Because they rock it, they love it, and they are great at it! But that’s not me. I also love to cook, but I follow other people’s recipes, or I toss and throw things in on my own until it tastes right. Alas, I’m not going to be a food blogger. I could go on and on. My point is, I was trying so hard to figure out where I fit in this blogging world. And most days I felt the answer to that was “nowhere.” I got discouraged and contemplated giving up.
But that’s silly. Because there are things I care about and that I love to discuss. Books, writing, mental health, infertility, journaling/journals, planners… the list is endless! Just because I’m accessory challenged, or I don’t have the patience to create my own recipes doesn’t mean I have nothing to say. So, this blog will be my weekly journal, diary, escape. Where I can discuss anything and everything that keeps me true to myself. I hope you come along for the ride.
Like… with my health.
This one is pretty simple. I have food allergies and sensitivities. My small movement here is to stop eating foods that make me feel like I’m dying afterward. Seems straight forward. And easy. But it will probably be the hardest on this list.
^^ SO Unfortunate. ^^
What are the slight movements you are working on in 2019? Or are you jumping in head first for those monumental shifts? Let me know in the comments!
We can do it, friends. Somehow, someway.
Until next time,